I want to begin by saying for those of you who may be affected or hurting from the recent changes in policy regarding children of same-sex couples, my heart goes out to you. I can't imagine what you must be feeling... God loves you, and he is mindful of you, even if you may not feel that way right now.
This post is something that I need to write for myself more than anything, just to be able to get out my thoughts onto "paper." The reason why I post it publicly on a blog is so that those who may be searching for some peace can maybe find it through reading my experience.
Last night I was invited to an event on Facebook, a vigil for those who are being affected by the "changes." I had NO idea what that was all about so I began to dig on Facebook. It didn't take long to find that my newsfeed was exploding with articles, opinions and posts on the matter.
I found an article, read it, found another to make sure, read that, and then read a few more. I wanted to make sure I had all the facts straight and that I was educated before I started pondering on it. Initial reaction was this: "What do I make of this? I need to figure out why." At this point it was about 2am... I did not fall asleep 'til 4 (partially due to a teething/nursing baby, but mostly due to the fact that I had to get some answers).
What saddened me most was the posts I saw on Facebook. I saw guns blazing left and right. I saw members on the church saying that they were disappointed by the church, I saw "ex-mormons" posting very strong opinions about the church they once loved.
So here is what I learned:
We can receive revelation, so pray. Whenever we are unsure of something within the church, something we can always do is pray about it. Isn't that amazing? We believe that God speaks to anyone who sincerely asks with pure intent.
Don't know why? Feeling sad or frustrated? Take it up with the Lord, FIRST. Tell him how you are feeling. Ask him to help you understand. We may not find out ALL of the reasons but we may be able to feel at peace to know that He knows things we don't. Most of the time, people's comments on Facebook cannot do those things for you.
No one is being "punished." I've seen a lot of the 2nd Article of Faith floating around, which states: "We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam's transgression." I understand what people are trying to say. Why are we punishing the children by not allowing them to be blessed or baptized when it is the parents' "sin?" Right? Aren't we contradicting our beliefs?
Actually, here's the context of Adam's transgression: When God told Adam not to partake of the fruit, he told him if he did, "he shall surely die." At that time, Adam was an immortal being: perfect and unable to die, living in the presence of God. When Adam partook of the fruit, he suffered 2 types of death: Spiritual and (eventually) Temporal. Spiritual death caused Adam to be separated from God, temporal death made Adam mortal--or able to die. God, in his infinite wisdom, provided a Savior, who would break the bands of Death.
Long story short, all who receive a body will be resurrected to a perfect, immortal state (the same state that God made Adam in the beginning) forever, thus overcoming death and not being "punished" for Adam's transgression. Punished for our own sins means that WE must repent or pay for our sins to make it back in the presence of God.
Does that mean we aren't affected by Adam's transgression today? Of course we are, but because of the resurrection, it isn't forever.
My point in clarifying this is that children of same-sex couples are not "punished," they still are able to receive ALL the blessings of baptism and other ordinances that God has prepared for everyone in this life. The same way that all who live on the earth will be resurrected, therefore both situations one is affected, but not "punished."
Also, to add to this, ALL people, men and women, homosexual or heterosexual are welcome within the walls of our chapels anytime. All are welcome to attend meetings and worship. One does not have to be a member of the church to attend our services. They can still be a part of the LDS community and are welcomed to be.
Eliminating Contention and Confusion. I will try to be as clear as my jumbled thoughts allow me.
Scenario 1: Imagine a child with same-sex parents gets permission and decides to get baptized. Say they are 9 years old. As they are raised by SS parents, they are taught that it's okay, that it's natural, and that love is love. Then they go to church and they learn that it is a serious sin to act on SSA. Inevitably there is going to be tension between this child and his parents. It may cause contention, and will definitely cause confusion. It undermines the parenting of the parents because if a child can say to a parent that they are doing BIG things wrong, how will they respect them? Or on the flip side, the child will begin to come to church and say, my parents are good people, they love each other, there is nothing wrong with it, and cause contention there, and possibly leave the church. Neither are very good scenarios if you ask me. Children and teens are so easily influenced and it can be a confusing time for them to be put in the situation. By 18, most have enough experience and growth to be able to decide for themselves. They are also capable to live on their own if need be.
But 8 is the age of accountability right? Yes, it is, but I will say it for 8 year old children as well. It is THEIR choice. And most of the time those who are baptized at 8 have a home where they can continue to learn and grow in the Gospel (or the missionaries work with them to make it so) Is that the case always? No, and when it is not, it is very common for those children to eventually become inactive due to the lack of a Gospel-Centered home.
Scenario 2: Missionaries teach a family is SS parents, and when they want to join, have to ask them to separate and break apart their family. No Bueno? Yea. This policy allows for some stability for children.
There are children who live in homes where people are cohabitating (also against the law of chastity), but its much easier to ask them to conform, because they just have to get married.
Leading the church in Unity: This is sub category of eliminating contention and confusion. You see, the LDS church is large in number. There are a lot of policies that have to be put in place just as a blanket policy to provide leaders with something to go by. Each case is worked out case-by-case with bishop and other leaders, but if they all did their own thing, there would be dis-unity in how they handled them. Could you imagine people saying, "Well I'll go to bishop so and so because he allows kids to be baptized so long as this and that... " it would be chaotic. Right now it is not so, but with opinions and values being polarized, the leadership in the church need guidance to know how to lead. Will there be exceptions? I bet there will be. I have seen many exceptions to other policies, through the proper line of course: through the First Presidency.
We must have faith God has his children in mind, and he will provide for them as need be. But there needs to be some sort of standard to go by.
There are also special policies for other family situations that contradict the Church's teaching and they are handled the same way.
Doctrine is Unchanging. Lastly, nothing has changed as far as the Doctrine of Jesus Christ is concerned. Application sometimes changes because the world is always changing, but SSA when acted upon has always been something the Church has opposed.
But Christ's teaching still stands, to love everyone, and to have charity. Charity is loving people as they are, regardless of what they believe, what they do, their flaws, etc.
And we are to do so with everyone. All are welcomed to come and worship. All are welcomed to live the Gospel and commandments.
President Boyd K. Packer said the following, "We do not reject you, ... we cannot reject you. ...we will not reject you, because we love you.
I won't say that I have all the answers to counter arguments that will most likely arise from my posting this blog. But we can't know all things, at least not now. That's why faith is such an important principle. I have faith that there is wisdom beyond what I know regarding this. We may never know why in this life, or we may, that I don't know, but I do sustain the Prophet as a man who is called of God.
This does not mean that I do not love my friends who are experiencing SSA or who are in a SS relationship. I am sorry that you are hurting. I do not judge you, I love you, and pray for you to find peace and happiness.
Hope this helps,
Erika
