Introducing Elijah 恵冬 (Keitou) Brinley

I decided I should probably write about Monday before I forget details. Time just flies when you have a newborn... and with recovery, I tend to be sitting most of the time so time for a blog entry is easy to come by... if I'm not nursing or pumping that is.

Eli came into the world on February 23, 2015 at 6:43pm. It was a much smoother delivery than with Aiden (you can find his birth story here), thank goodness. I also have some funny videos for you to watch from some of the labor. I think you will enjoy them ;)

Eli's Birth Story

PRE-LABOR:
My mom arrived last Wednesday, the 18th and I had an appointment the next day at the OB. When I went (oh I saw Emily Maynard--she's pregnant too and has the same doctor as me... that's another story), the doctor checked me and I was 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced. I really wanted to kick into labor naturally, but with all the hard contractions and cramps I was having, it was really hard to get around with a 19 month old and function normally... So we scheduled an induction for Monday morning.

Over the whole weekend I was having some bad contractions. So much so that I was sure I would go in naturally before Monday at 8am. Well Monday rolled around and I was still having regular contractions so we went into Labor and Delivery and they hooked me up. We waited and waited and watched as the contractions showed up on the monitor every few minutes. The doctor finally came in after a c-section at around 11am and we discussed options. He checked me and I was still about the same.. maybe 1.5 cm... but he had seen Eli's heart rate and found enough reason that it was "medically necessary" to induce. Basically he wanted to have a justifiable reason to do so... and I guess he was able to find one from the monitoring they had done for the last 2 hours.

OH! I almost forgot. Prior to the doctor coming in, the nurses were trying to set me up on an IV. I didn't know why they were so early on, but I let them.... well, I let them try... 
The nurse, bless her heart, was an older lady, and she just COULD NOT find a vein to save her life. She stuck the needle first into my right wrist, and wiggled that needle around, stuck me again.... moved it around... and then gave up. At that point my wrist felt like it was on fire and I felt like I was going to puke. Having passed out while pregnant with Aiden, I know what it feels like to begin to lose it... and well, I was beginning to lose it. My hearing got muffled, I started sweating and feel like I was going to throw up. Darin knows the drill at this point (I really had issues when I was pregnant with Aiden), and grabs me a cold rag so I can stick it on my neck and face. I try really hard to breathe and finally come to.
I let the nurse know I gained my composure back and she beings trying on my left wrist. Right wrist THROBBING, I allow her to stick and wiggle again in my left... I ask her, "did you get it?"
"I think so, but it's not giving any blood..."
...okay.. doesn't that mean you DON'T have a vein? I began to feel sick again, and she begins to insert fluids into my "vein." I can tell you right now it wasn't. My arm began to feel cold.. I look over and I have a golf-sized lump on my arm.
It starts to hurt and I say "ow, ow, ow...."
the nurse looks down, "oh!" and pulls the needle out and sticks a bandage over the huge LUMP on my arm.... it looks terrible and it hurts even worse. Both my arms killed if i moved them at all. I began to feel REALLY sick again, and she left--having given up on finding a vein. She must have been having a bad day... or she needs to give up being the "IV nurse"... because that was a terrible start to my labor story.

Here is a picture of the after math of my two attempted IV inserts. Also, the one on the left hurt every time my blood pressure cuff went off... it was great. You will see in one of the videos below. ;)

INDUCTION TIME!:
After thinking through some options, the doctor decides to try a cervical balloon with a low dose pitocin. I am terrified of pitocin, and was hoping for the most drug free induction I could get, but the doctor reassured me it was a lower dose than typically given and that they can pull it out at any time. After asking a bajillion questions, we began with the balloons.

A cervical balloon is basically that. 2 small little ball-like balloons. One goes INSIDE your uterus on one side of the cervix, while the other goes on the outside. They fill them up with water to expand them little by little (every couple hours) and it begins to apply pressure to your cervix, the same way the baby's head does when the baby drops. This allows for a release of prostaglandins--a hormone that allows for labor to start. The low-dose pitocin was paired with this method to help the contractions continue to be regular.

The balloons went in at 12:30pm, and they got another nurse to do an IV (took her 5 seconds... I really don't have hard veins!) and they began dripping the pitocin in. My contractions picked up to be about the same pain level, but more regular. One every 3-4 minutes. They got a little stronger and a little closer together over time, and they filled the balloons up once more.

THE LABOR:
By mid-afternoon, I was breathing through each contraction fairly hard, and the nurse asked if I would like some pain killers. I think at this point it was maybe 3? or so? I said no, I don't really know why... because they hurt like heck... so the nurse was like, "I think you should. You're clearly in a lot of pain, and if you are planning to get pain meds at a certain point anyway, it's not going to matter when..."
She had a point. I don't know why I feel like I have to suffer through a little longer.... especially with how much pain I was in. I was literally feeling them at 8/10 pain scale... so she checked to see where my cervix was at. The doctor said if you tugged on the balloons and they came out, that would indicate I was greater than 4cm, the diameter of the balloons... so she tugged gently, they didn't come out, so she gave me a pain killer through my IV. I got this with Aiden too--they tend to give it to you before the epidural to see if it can hold you over longer. It is amazing. With Aiden I saw unicorns and rainbows... or at least it felt that way... this time around they must have given me a stronger dose... because this stuff DID NOT wear off until AFTER Eli was born. haha.

When she initially gave it to me, I was knocking out and talking to Darin. He videoed a lot of it... so here are the videos of me on this amazing drug for your entertainment. To explain--I am not crying, I am laughing HYSTERICALLY. So much actually, that I wet the bed. I was trying to open my eyes but they were too heavy.. so I could only keep one open... IF that. When I closed my eyes I was in a Lego DUPLO castle... and Darin was there with a phone in my face.. taking a video because I was talking nonsense. He mentioned Ellen Degeneres... I remember that... I think we are secretly hoping she sees these videos and invites us on her show.

Here they are (I don't really know what order they go in... but there are 3):

Part 1:

Part 2:

Part 3:

After about 30 minutes I could feel my contractions again. I was still majorly hallucinating and falling asleep... but I would wake up and scream/breathe through a contraction... and then fall right back to sleep. This stuff was SO strong I couldn't stay awake. The doctor came in and pulled on the balloons. I felt some pressure but they slipped right out... indicating I was dilated over 4cm. I think they told me I was around 5cm. This was close to 3:30pm or 4:00pm I think. (Darin probably knows better, he was sending texts to my girlfriends of the play-by-play). 

My contractions were SO bad I began needing Darin to squeeze and lean into with each one. They were only like a minute apart and a 9.99999 out of 10 (is it hard to say 10, because that is like the highest you can go? it is for me. Either way, they killed.) The nurse called in the Anesthesiologist who was taking her time.... It seriously took her like 30 mins or more to come. That doesn't seem long but when that means you have to sit through like 15 contractions then it REALLY seems long. Finally she arrived and gave me the epidural. The pain slowly started to fade--but I could still feel them contractions in my tail bone. The nurse tried a catheter, and I could feel everything, so I was not numb down there... but it was enough to take the edge off the pain from screaming through contractions to breathing a little heavier. As the nurse tried to help me empty my bladder, she shoved the baby's head out of the way, because it was pushing and not allowing me to empty. When she pushed the baby out of the way, my water burst. 

Within about 30 minutes the nurse told me to start pushing.... I was so confused... "aren't I only like 5 cm?" I asked. 

"No, you're 9.5, now let's start pushing."

Oh wow.. this was about 5:30 ish 5:45pm. I began pushing. At this point I could still feel the contractions enough, and so I could know when to push. In between, the other pain killer were still fairly strong, so I would almost fall asleep. I couldn't finish a sentence... I was so drugged. As the epidural set in more, I got more and more numb. After a while I couldn't feel my contractions anymore, and didn't know when to push. I think I may have gotten the epidural a little too late.. 

WELCOME BABY!:

Anyway after an hour of pushing, falling asleep, waking up, pushing, falling asleep... the baby was here! 6:43 pm. It was such a shock to me how fast this labor was... compared to my 30 hour labor with Aiden. I was in much less pain when I held Eli for the first time, since the epidural at that point was at its peak. 

I did skin to skin for an hour, Darin went and picked up Aiden and my mom at home and Aiden was able to meet his little brother. 

Eli was 20 ¾ inches long, and weighed 8lbs 0.6oz.

Eli came at 39.5 weeks, but he weighed as much as his brother did at 41.5 weeks. He's a big baby. He has long fingers and toes, I suspect he will be taller than his brother when they are older. He has light brown hair, not blond like Aiden was, but you can definitely tell they are brothers. 

We chose the Japanese name name Keitou for his middle name, because the "Kei" character is from my name, meaning "blessed" and "Tou" is the character for "winter." 

"Blessed Winter"

Aiden was Kai, with "Ka" from my name, meaning "summer" and "i" meaning "great"

"Greatest Summer"

 Eli is healthy and doing well. We are so happy to be a little family of 4.

I just am in LOVE with my 3 boys. I one lucky girl!

 Last video. Aiden holding Eli for the first time. This is the next day after he was born. My mom and Aiden came after lunch for a couple of hours and ate dinner with me. I sure missed my little boy while I was in the hospital. So grateful my mom took good care of him:

Until Next time,

The Brinley's

Every Mom Needs an Outlet (followup to The Truth About Being a Stay-at-home Mom)

So as I have pondered more about the topic, I have found that Moms need outlets. Be it a play date with other moms, or a girls night out, or sewing, blogging, a bowl of ice-cream once the kiddies are in bed, whatever. Mom's need something for themselves to refuel so that they can be good moms. To each mother that outlet may be different, but necessary for you, as the mom, and for your child.

Let's think about your outlet? What could it be?

Let me share with you a few of my past/present outlets, and then I want to share with you a recent one.

When Aiden was born, I was still working full-time (in the dorms) so there were meetings I had to attend or Freshman Dance Parties I had to chaperone (or eat all the food at...) and there was a group of other Hall Advisors like me with children that I could relate to. I think that's important to--finding a group to relate to. We were allowed to bring our children to certain events (like the dances for example) so we would let them crawl around (and the Freshman girls just loved them!), and talk about different stages they are in together. Although at times work was overwhelming and I would have the thought, "I just want to be home with Aiden." Now that I look back, work was an outlet for me, to feel like I was accomplishing something personally outside of being a mother (which is a HUGE accomplishment BTW).

After I moved out to Charlotte, I didn't have work anymore and that is when I began to feel a little unaccomplished (for more info, read the previous blog post here.) Although I did find some outlets. I had an amazing support system of girlfriends just by attending church. About the 2nd week I was here, I got invited to a Girl's Night Out where we went out to a bakery at 7pm, and didn't leave until 10:30pm! No kids, just lots of pastries, brownies and cakes... and of course birth stories, bedtime horror stories, and other funny mommy stories. This same group holds play group weekly on Wednesdays where we go out with our babes and do fun activities--go to the park, library, museums, art centers, etc. It's a fun way to get out of the house for both mommy and baby. A smaller group of the girls invited me for a dinner once, and then we decided to do a tots school on Tuesdays, so we get together on Tuesday mornings and do a mini preschool for our babes. What a fun way to get together and chat--or get out and run some errands when it isn't your turn to teach. Other Mommy friends are an extremely HELPFUL outlet. I know for some it is hard in a new area, but wherever possible, make lots of other mommy friends!
This video is hilariously funny of the realities of trying to make a fellow mommy friend:
http://youtu.be/OkprsbY0EJg

Other outlets I've had particularly recently are napping (although this alone isn't the best), blogging, cooking, baking, etc. But sometimes these outlets become burdens... so it just depends on my mood.

An outlet Darin and I share in the evenings when Aiden's asleep is watching Netflix. Sometimes an outlet is just going out with Aiden for a walk, or swimming at the pool. Something to just get out of the normal in-the-house-all-day routine.

My Newest Outlet

After I posted my last blog about being a stay-at-home mom on Facebook, I got a lot of great comments and feedback from other mommies who have been through similar things. One friend, mentioned that she had a couple mommy friends doing small businesses has helped them feel accomplished and have some tangible goals. I totally agree!

You see, about a day before I wrote that blog, I was looking into selling for Younique. I have always been a little curious about doing a direct sales or MLM sort of company... but never wanted to put the money in, because I know it can be stressful. Most companies like that require monthly purchases, and so most people who aren't busting their butt ends up IN the hole rather than making money... So I've been skeptical. Well, Younique was one I was really skeptical about, but I did my research and found that out of all of the direct sales companies, this was the least risky. So after doing a good long week of research, I decided to try it out. Here you are looking at a new Younique Presenter!!

Here are a few basic points about being a Younique Presenter:

Disclaimer: I know that this kind of sales is not for everyone. But as I have started it, I have wanted to share it with so many mommy friends because I know some of you are needing an outlet like this, or the extra money. Please don't feel like I'm trying to sell this idea to you, but if you do feel like it's something you're interested I'm more than happy to give you more info.

1. The Start Up Fee. Okay, so most companies require an activation fee. Usually you get a kit of some sort with a bunch of products in it that you can give away as samples or use for yourself. The Presenter's kit is $99 and you get a bunch of eye pigments, their 3D mascara, and other products. You never have to pay another penny again.
2. The Commission. This is my favorite part. Most companies will ONLY give you commission on sales if you spend $XXX number of dollars a month on products yourself. That number varies from company to company, but if you don't buy, then you don't make money. Younique gives you IMMEDIATE commission. This means the moment someone purchases, a check gets emailed to you within the hour. They can't take the money away... it's yours the moment that purchase was made. Awesome right? 
1. Commission starts at 20%, but can get up to 30% if you keep selling.
3. Staying Active. With every company, you can lose your status of being a seller. Usually with the other companies its when you stop making your monthly purchases. Since Younique doesn't require those, the only time you can lose your status as a presenter is if you don't sell anything. They give you a 3 month period, and a week grace period. In those 3 months you just have to sell $125 in product. Let me put that into perspective. That is $42 a month (about 1.5 mascara a month... so in 30 days you have to have 1 OR 2 ppl buy). As long as you average $42 a month, you will not go inactive. And even if you do, you don't lose anything, unless you didn't make back the money from the $99, but that is really hard to do.
4. Potential Growth. This is a huge factor as to why I joined. This company is still new. This year, it has TAKEN off and is projected to be the fastest growing direct-sales company. They have just opened up to the UK.. and I suspect other countries will open soon too. Not many people have heard of it, therefore there are less judgements (good and bad) about the products. When people hear "Mary Kay" they either RAVE about it, or they sort of cringe. EVERYONE has been to a MK party. Therefore, you have a lot of untouched soil to plant in.
5. Hours. You choose. I put in time during nap time and when Aiden goes down. so maybe 3-4 hours a day? Its all over social media, so you answer questions when YOU have time. it's great. Many of us moms are on FB anyway, instead of comparing ourselves with other moms, let's make some money! 
6. It's all online! You can totally do home parties but this company is designed to work ONLINE. Here's the nice thing about it. I think it takes a certain personality type to sell. Right? I could see some people would do well at a Home party hyping ppl up... others would not. The nice thing about this is it's online. You don't have to be uncomfortable in front of a bunch of people. You do what you're comfortable with, and I love that.
7. Founders. The founders are 2 siblings (a brother and sister) from Utah. They are LDS, and therefore share the same religious values as me. The motto of this company is to uplift, empower and validate women. They began this company to give women at home, ESPECIALLY moms, an opportunity to make money, feel validated and empowered. What a great mission. Their products are quality, and I trust them because of how they live their lives. (I may have stalked the 2 on Facebook for days before I signed up.)

So there you have it. These are the reasons why I signed up. I will also be open and say I have been selling for 7 days. I have sold over $600 in product. I sell about $100 a day. I made back the money I paid for my kit in about 5 days. So now anything I make is Net Profit. Pretty awesome right? Another girl I've been working with has done this since July 10 of this year. Last month was her first full month selling and she made just over $1000. This product (the 3D mascara is their biggest seller) sells itself. 

I love being a mom. I love caring for my baby. That is still my first and most important responsibility in my day-to-day life. But I have loved setting business goals, having numbers to hit, having tangible goals to work towards on the side. I'm a numbers-minded person, and so it just gives me that added fulfillment that I enjoy. So, first read my FIRST blog about being a stay-at-home mom. FIRST, find fulfillment in being a mom. Then, if you want a little added hobby, let me know and I can tell you more!

Motherhood is your most important calling, but every mom needs a hobby!

You're still awesome moms!!

Erika